Make Believe
Oct 14, 2008 sojourn
Sometimes things get so frustrating I just can’t think straight, can’t write, the playing and music gets real unsettled and I feel like just walking away from it all. OK, pipe dream, not gonna happen, be stupid anyway, and what does copping out accomplish anyway? Exactly — NOTHING!
My oldest daughter and I have been having some interesting banters of late, come to think of it, it’s been coming fast and furious from everyone in my family these last few weeks. From the inner circle to those I’ve not even seen in years, I’m encountering very interesting perspectives and lots of food for thought.
I need a blow, so I took an extra day off from work, maybe stimulate the muse to visit and lay a “goodie” on me. I’ve got like half a dozen melody/chord combinations floating around my head, can’t take on any more, but I’m waiting for a hook to latch onto, the right theme worth writing about. Don’t wanna go to the politics or helplessness invoked by the political climate, the whole thing is a farce, on BOTH sides, no one is even trying to tell the truth or be of service. Too much personal gain at stake, the level of shame sadly escalating daily.
Not going there… I’m seeing the aqua waters off Captiva and thinking about how I know that feeling, free, peaceful, I wanna go there. Seems a lot of songs these days are about escaping, and why not, stuff’s hitting the fan everywhere we turn. Who doesn’t wanna be somewhere else. I’d like to think there’s a more fulfilling job out there, musical situations that I can really sink my teeth into, a life for my family that fosters a greater level of creativity and joy, it’s out there — I know it.
So here I am, the phrase sticking in my head is “make believe”… my kids want to go there, my wife is in some pretty bad physical pain these days, I’m sure she’d like to go there, over the rainbow like make believe, without the hallucinogens. But then I wake up, make believe is good for a little while, but reality is a cold shower on a February morning in Buffalo, NY. It only takes a few seconds to realize it’s cold, and I’m awake, real awake, and there’s nothing I can do about it if I wanna get clean.
Not sure this is what song I’ll write this week, might not be “Make Believe”, but it sure felt good to get away while I scribed this post =)
Got Hope?
Last night my wife and I had our fairly typical Friday wind down after the kids went to bed. Sure, we watched the Olympics, albeit while cruising channels in hopes of dodging the standard fare GAC video countdown, and stumbled upon a rerun of Glen Beck doing a full hour interview with Toby Keith, so we hung there for a while.
I’m a fan of both Toby and Glen, so it was interesting to see these almost exact opposites getting along, making sense, and uniting their voices in a rally cry to our country — WAKE UP! They talked about the delta between political and cultural conservatism, patriotism, the right to bear arms, and how the fact they register with different parties doesn’t make either better than the other. Oh, and, neither is sure who they’ll vote for in November, though gut tells me if doubt prevails, each will vote with the party line they claim to back.
It was really cool to see Toby, a man with a bit of a bad-ass reputation, refuse to pass judgment on social perspectives with which he doesn’t agree, or try to dodge questions about his faith in God and country. He’s a pretty basic guy who I think understands the issues and feels if you’re hated by the left and right simultaneously you are very likely on to something good.
This really got me thinking, not about politics or media hype around the coming election, but about the place I’m at with my own hopes, fears, passions, and dreams. I watched a message by Joel Olsteen last week on hope titled “You’re Closer Than You Think“. Say what you want about Joel, he’s different kind of preacher for sure, but the message hit home. He’s an encourager, not a preacher that preys on guilt trips, and I for one needed to hear that God wants to hear my heart cry for hope.
If not God, who?
I think both Glen and Toby believe strongly in God. Neither tries to shove the Gospel (Glen is Mormon) down anyone’s throat, but use fundamental (if not Biblical) principals to guide their lives and raise their families. Groan, not those old, musty principals about honesty and possessions and fidelity… not those principals about how putting our trust in hope in any man being like trying to grow coconuts in Iceland!
So, how much further do we get sucked into the “information age” while running around with our heads neatly tucked away in a dark orifice of choice? Are we safe not verifying what we read or hear from the media, whether Glen Beck, CNN, or the NY Times? How much more “information” can we process as we navigate the course of our very lives and keep the ship from smashing into lurking submerged portions of the ice berg? It’s great we have choices, it’s sad we make so many unfounded and uninformed choices.
I’m finding myself praying a lot more these days, mostly because it seems there are so many more life decisions to make and I can’t process the data fast enough. So I go to the wall, the closet, my knees, a deep breath, a quiet cry. In the end, there’s so much out of my control, all I can do is hope.
Here’s an excerpt from a lyric I’m working on for a new song:
Pain is never ordinary
Burdens get so hard to carry
When regrets I just can’t bury
Leave me numb and cold
All I have to hold
All I really know
All I have is hope
Copyright (c) Angelo Melendez
Tags: Glen Beck, hope, Toby Keith, truth