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The Mesh I’m In

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been all over the map, idea after idea, but the ratio of output is pretty low. Sure I’m dealing with mitigating circumstances, my wife broke her knee changing the we way we manage home front activities from school to sports to growing up, I’ve been grappling with decisions regarding new opportunities for me as an indie artist, musician, etc., mix in the never ending sagas at work… but hey, who isn’t busy or distracted these days, somehow, someday, this will all make sense — right? I’ve decided to spend just a few minutes annotating the scattered accomplishments from the last couple-three of weeks:

  • I did write a song last weekend, and have a new one on the tip of my tongue and fingers.
  • Spent time in the studio working on Paul C’s CD.
  • Setup my rag tag PA and started listing out material for future coffee house gigs with Allen S.
  • Got “All Things You” evaluated, based on feedback, it’s a slight rewrite away from done.
  • Carved out some time to further my capabilities with Mac and Logic Express
  • Started using Twitter and NetVibes.

OK, not a ton of stuff, but progress nonetheless. So here’s what I’m planning for the next couple of weeks, starting today:

  • NSAI Charlotte blog updates… add a FAQ and post focused on song critiques.
  • Get back with my friend John C. about strategy for redesigning my web presence(s). DRAFT plan.
  • Learn 3-songs for rehearsal Tuesday night with J&J.
  • Prospect use of Yahoo Media player in web pages.
  • Track “Here is Love” for Easter.
  • Listen/Learn material Allen S. sent me.

Better stop here, anymore would certainly be unrealistic, accomplishing half of what’s on this list would be way encouraging. Bottom line is I’m in a season where sleep, preparedness and focus will be key to keeping life moving forward on several fronts. I’m not kidding myself into thinking all the pieces with fall into place without bumps and bruises.

Randy Pausch spoke of preparedness in chapter 46 of “The Last Lecture“, stating, “When you go into the wilderness, the only thing you can count on is what you take with you.” He also said that planning for the worst an essential element of being prepared and called it “The Eaten By Wolves Factor.” Since preparedness isn’t always a strong suit, I’d better get good at climbing trees =)

My wilderness is the mesh I’m in. I can’t imagine anyone with an ounce of hope living in a single threaded world. I could spend all my time trying to figure out what all this means, or go out and make something of it all by creating, sharing and being grateful for what small gains I’m able to make. And, in the end, keep believing in something greater than who or what I am, or could ever be. I can do better at everything I do, but need to be more satisfied with doing at all, on all fronts, in all things… for all the right reasons.

Dry

It’s amazing and uncomfortable how I go from oasis to drought. I’ve had a few pretty good weeks on the dream trail, met some writers/performers both live and online with lots to say. And I continue to be inspired by artist friends who are relentless and passionate about their work. As I read through perspectives and check out the day to day activities of indie artists, I sense a deep undercurrent making the waters trickier to navigate, though many [thankfully] are up to the challenge.

Friday night I caught Kim McLean and Mark Elliot at the Muse, it was quiet, but the songs and vibe were good, and I came home with a couple of new ideas. Decided yesterday to work with my main co-writer to put together a couple of sets of covers and our own material and work hard at setting up stools in coffee shops for 2-3 hours shifts just to get heard, even if the pay is what ends up in the tip jar.

I try to spend a good bit of time on Sundays taking the day as it come, nothing too structured. I may doodle on a drawing pad or take some pictures, or object write a hook idea or jam mindlessly in between sipping a cup of coffee. I’m looking forward to this afternoon, after church and lunch, hopeful for some creative precipitation to start refilling the well.

I’ve been here before… I’ll be here again.

Stoking Embers

I’m very fortunate to be at a point in life where I can play gigs without sweating how much money I’m going to pocket. Of course I don’t always play for free, though at times I make barely enough to cover gas and a drink, but I don’t turn down opportunities to stretch my musicality and be around fresh sounding players and writers that spark inspiration into my own works.

This past weekend I packed a bass and made a trip to Atlanta to back a 17 year old guitarist/writer named Desmond Myers. With heroes like John Mayer and The Beatles, he’s a welcome breath of fresh air. Not only talented, but a great guy and I certainly hope nothing but the best for his career.

Aside from basic expenses (food/lodging) I made the trip pro-bono, and I’m REALLY glad I did. I got to hear other bands and writers, many quite young, most with an infectious hunger to make music at all costs. I got to hang out with Desmond’s producers, Alan and Jimm of Hit Music Studios in Spencer, NC., as well as a couple of other budding artists being produced by HMS.

The road to ATL was an interesting one, to say the least. I hooked up with the situation via friend/musician with whom I recently reconnected, after 25 years. We rehearsed less than 4-hours total, and did both gigs without sound check. Not everything went off without a hitch, not all the music I heard enamored me. But, overall I came back to CLT pumped about future opportunities with Alan/Jimm, and, perhaps more importantly, ready to freshen my approach to practicing and writing… not to mention the prospect of cutting an EP by summer.

First thing after dinner, I caught up on emails and to do’s. I listened to a talk on creativity and read a blog post on Lefsetz Letter that really helped put the weekend in context (a 5-minute read). There’s so much negative press about the music industry these days, but there are many spurning the pundits and choosing to invest the time and energy to get in the game for the long-haul.

Few will make it big, some will make it regionally, others, like me, perform in coffee houses because we love to play and sing. But the revolt is on, and it’s fueling the dreams of many, including mine. Indie artists with quality material and a well defined sound can and will make inroads. There are audiences out there wanting to escape the media’s torrent of lousy news, and our music is part of what they seek as refuge. It takes guts, planning, a ton of practice, and some luck, but, at least in my mind, passion trumps odds, and I’m seeing a lot of passion out there.

True artists get after it every day… it would be very easy for me to say “hey, I tried”, grab a cup of coffee and sit back and watch “younger crowd” fight the good fight. This past weekend reminded me of many past experiences, good and bad. I’ve been working pretty hard over the last 5-6 years to rekindle the fire by developing some songwriting chops and re-activating my bass playing. I’m still in the game, and plan to be till the embers go out.

Risk the Reward

What a whirlwind 24 hours… the culmination of planning a workshop, then both witnessing and reaping the fruit of hanging out and learning from seasoned veteran artist and songwriter Craig Bickhardt. Going out on Friday nights is always tough for me, with work and my desire to just degauss at home. But once I get to the venue, relax and enjoy the show, I realize every step of this mini-journey is so worthwhile, and this past Friday night was a great precursor to the next day’s workshop.

Saturday morning it’s an early rise and get to the Well to setup and greet our workshop attendees and presenter. The day goes off without a hitch, the interaction very much in tune with expectations for our time with Craig. Our NSAI chapter is so dynamic; we had a couple of brand new faces and some recently signed members in attendance, all willing and enthusiastic participants. And Susan, our hostess at The Well serves the group like family… just can’t thank her and The Well enough.

No punches pulled in the accounts Craig shared of both success and rejection, perspectives on the current and future states of the music industry, especially as it pertains to the songwriter. But even with the less that “hopeful” picture, I think we all left encouraged to press on with our respective art and raising the bar for the work we produce.

There were many nuggets of wisdom shared. Craig’s views on creativity always stir introspection. He told a story of two groups of children being asked to draw pictures, one was offered candy for doing so, the other just asked to draw. The drawings from group that got the candy were not very creative at all, the focus was on the reward, not the potential art. The group that created without the objective of being “compensated” for their effort produced thoughtful and inspired works of art.

What’s the point?

To me, and I think we as writers know this, there’s risk in being a writer. It takes time, often significant amounts of time. Time away from family, sacrificing sleep, and time away from our comfort zones. It takes guts, and money, and shattered hope through rejection, and the fear of sharing that first draft or forgetting the words or melody, on and on… there is risk in being an artist.

What about the reward for taking such risks? Truth is, there is no realistic promise or guarantee of tangible reward. But the heart of what I got out of this segment is the need to do a gut check on my motivation for creativity. I need to expose the nagging slack in my discipline and slay it by making time away from being tethered to the Internet, closing the door to my studio and being willing to sit in silence as my mind and being dive into a character, scene or feeling that might end up in a song, story, or other form of art.

We didn’t spend much time on tools like literary devices, but Craig made what I perceived as a pretty profound perspective regarding imagery… that is, to use imagery to reveal and expand upon a character, motivation, and/or emotion. This is where taking time in quiet is key to “seeing” what I’m writing about.

Though quite tired and drained, I drove home Saturday afternoon through heavy rain inspired to press on as an artist/writer, re-committed to the understanding that being true to my own art means embracing risk and putting forth effort to produce the ultimate reward — art itelf.

U-Turn

Last Sunday I was pretty bummed. I had hoped to make a road trip to Nashville with a co-writer friend of mine, Allen. He and I were going to cruise west, spend the week hanging out, writing, just having fun with it all.  This was to be a very beneficial trip as I was to get introduced to a few of Allen’s relationships — some very solid writers and club owners/managers.

So, around 6:00PM, while hanging out, guitar in hand, thinking, “dang, I really should have found a way to make this trip”, I noticed an email on my Blackberry from a bass player friend in Delaware.  He shared some details about a scenario in need of a bassist to cover some hot young guitarist’s artist showcase dates, and said I should make the call to the owner of a studio where both my friend (a fine musician who’s played with notables like Bad Co.) and this young up and coming artist record their material. I figured, what the heck, and called the studio the next day… no answer, so I left a message. Later that Monday evening, I got a return call. Seems these guys had exhausted their stable of bass players and are down to the wire. Footnote: I’ve been here before… a situation that comes to mind is a door knock while sitting home on a Friday night and being asked by a drummer and keyboardist to get dressed and grab a bass — theirs was in the hospital with food poisoning. I had a blast, and the gig just a few weeks later.

Anyway, the call with the studio owner/producer was pretty brief. I sensed both calm desperation and a good bit of caution on the part of the person I spoke with, justifiably so. He was only talking with me because my friend in Delaware said I could handle the gig… even I had my doubts at first, then figured, what the heck. So, I grabbed the songs off his me.com site and downloaded them onto my iPod. Over the next couple of days I listened through a couple of times, and now have 4-5 hours with bass in hand lifting bass parts off eight well written songs by this young guitar player, singer, and songwriter (who shall remain nameless for now).

Next step is to meet with the guys pulling together the band for the fast approaching shows to see if I fit the mold and have the chops to cut the gig. Whether I get the nod or not is not as important as the fact that if I had made the trip to Nashville I would not have had the opportunity to meet with these guys. Sure, the trip to N’ville could have opened some doors, but this opportunity could actually have a much greater ROI.

Why?

These gentlemen own a well established, productive studio. The recordings I’ve been learning off are out of this studio are high quality tracks, and were not only recorded at said studio (which also shall remain nameless for the time being), but produced by the owners, one of whom also plays drums, percussion and bass on the tracks!

I’m very much looking forward to see how things pan out… I have about a 75% grip on the songs, and should be close to 90% efficiency by the time we meet Sunday morning. The material is right up my alley, and there’s very little doubt in my mind I can do this thing… the opportunity is there because I made a u-turn away from what I wanted to do to where life was calling me to be.

Listen

I sometimes need to remind myself how daily chores (including mundane tasks at my day job) go by faster, and generally more productively, when I’m “budded up” listening to music… it’s so easy to get head down at something and realize, shoot, I could have been taking in the riches of melody and meter, ingesting art, perhaps even subliminally growing my craft as a song writer.

Last Tuesday night it snowed, a quite infrequent occurrence in this neck of the woods, at least our locale, but it was cool to watch the wind whip some sky dust on to the earth. When I went to bed it was still coming down, and though inaudible, it was as if I could “hear” the snow piling up outside our bedroom. Thank God for imagery.

Just before writing this entry, I was listening to a CD from yesteryear as I reclined on an easy chair. The house was empty and I’d had a pretty long week, so it was nice to degauss and get my head ready for the weekend. As I was about to doze, the last song ended. The “quiet” sounds of the house took over, with the fish tank pump adding a little Feng Shui to the calm.

More often than not, I’ve a tough time listening to my own intuition… oh, how cheesy, but true. Not just for what steps to take in life, but when and what to write about. I tend to shy away from feelings drilling a hole in my heart (or left temple), partially because I am really trying to be more positive, but truth is, I swim daily in the dark waters of angst, at work and every time I turn on NPR or CNN. Time to start pouring this stuff out into the blender and letting the song chips fall where they may.

If it “sounds” like I’m rambling, you’re right, but hey, it’s a quick read, at least you don’t have to “listen” to me.

Stone Yard

I’m planning out the weekend, co-write in the morning, NSAI coordinator meeting Sunday, slip in a neighborhood birthday party (the adult flavor) on Saturday night, and oh yeah it’s Super Bowl weekend, what… huh?

Where did January [2009] go?

It’s been whirlwind since the 2nd day of the year… started back to work earlier than normal from Christmas holiday due to “the acquisition”, then had to travel out west a week on business. This past work week just flew by, and though I did some writing during the month, I missed both gigs I had scheduled. Fortunately I have enough discipline to keep the fire from going out, and I’m ready to make another surge, I’ve got my flippers and goggles on — I’m diving in with a somewhat refined approach:

  • I decided I was still missing that single point of reference for all my lyrics and song ideas, so I bumped my MasterWriter to 2.0 and now have the application on my PC and Mac, and I’ll figure out how to sync the two data sets as I go, but I’ll keep the master on the Mac.
  • Didn’t spend enough time on Logic, but that’s a big goal for February, especially learning to program the drums via midi to make better demos of finished songs.
  • I’ve also update my productivity maps in MindManager, and have a more centralized work flow for tracking goals and getting to sites and resources I frequent.
  • Lastly, I’m enjoying hooking up with some old friends on MySpace and listening to their material, very inspiring, and some flat out really good material.

NSAI has another busy month ahead. Craig Bickhardt will be in town for workshop and show (see NSAI Charlotte site for details), and I’ll get to meet a writer who I really admire that’s coming in from Charleston for the CB events. Plus, I need to make a final decision on travel to Nashville in late March for coordinator refresh and hopefully some networking.

Busy times centered on work really mess me up from an inspiration perspective. Yeah, the muse shows up, we engage, but I have a real problem with focus when I’m spent and things are so hectic I’m just a total scatter-head (hence the bullets above). Some famous philosopher said: a wooden bird starts with the first stroke of the pocket knife, a great meal with fresh herbs and spices, a good song with the “cojones” to say phooey on all this other crap, I’m gonna sit down and write me one.

Guess I’ll head out to the “stone yard” and turn a few over till I find me something  to sing about… new month, new set of opportunities.

Active Participant

I dunno, three, maybe four Saturdays ago, I was headed to South Charlotte for coffee and a co-write session at my friend Allen’s apartment. On the way there I heard two short interviews on NPR that impacted my perspective from that morning on.

The second (yeah, I know, what’s up with that?) interview was with the music director for the Baltimore Symphony (at least I believe that’s her role, and I can’t recall her name) on the compositions of Aaron Copeland. Now I studied composition in college a LONG time ago, and I certainly have an appreciation for symphonic works, but what grabbed me about the conversation is the fervor and freshness I sensed as she talked about Copeland’s work and approach to composition, in a manner reminiscent of songwriters sharing insights about Craig Wiseman, Carole King, Jimmy Webb, etc., the energy was infectious.

Previous to this conversation, the interview was with an artist who resides in Denver by the name of Bob Ragland. I’d never heard of him, but it was as though he was speaking to me. He talked about be a “non-starving” artist and his approach to making ends meet doing what he loves most — creating art. His attitude of perseverance spoke to me as a writer. Sure I’m not full time, and I’m not published, or have any songs on hold, but I have desire and love to make music and write songs.

Bob’s message: do the practical, do it every day, and do it well.

Simple, huh? I checked out the list he posted titled “The Stuff You Won’t learn in Art School“, and thought to myself, get at it! I mean, why not my music and songs? Get them out there, work at promoting, and sharing, and pitching and being ready to get something placed… why not me?!?!?

Last week one of the songs Allen and I wrote got real good feedback on a SongU critique session, and today we were notified the song is going to the NSAI luncheon for potential pitch to publisher. While the essence of all this amounts to welcome validation of the passion and craft we put into the song, it’s a step in the right direction — all because I chose to embrace the risk of being an active participant in promoting myself.

Stew

The swirl of the new year is settling, I mean we’re almost half way through January and this is my first post for 2009. I don’t make resolutions, but do plan keep my threads centered on music and writing (and art) this year. Not to say there won’t be a rant laced in here and there, but I have a goal this year to get over the feeling I don’t have the goods for the indie music mix and do much more to develop and promote my work.

This past week was interesting in a variety of ways. I’ve been reviewing and editing my “day job” scenario, hence my LinkedIn profile, which I’ve drastically changed to a more “corporate” view [without totally losing my identity], I’ve also found some really cool groups that mix technology and music/art mindsets.

I try to read through discussions at least once daily, and I was going through a rather long thread last Sunday about some conference I know nothing about and the last comment was from Paul Cullen — the name caused me to pause and jog my memory. I checked out his LinkedIn profile and sure enough it turns out Paul and I knew each other back in the early ‘80 in Ft. Myers, FL while attending Edison Community College. We are both bassists/guitarists, roughly the same age, and working at being indie artists. While my career has some pretty cool bright spots (like performing with Marian McPartland in college and a 90 minute set with Branford Marsalis at a Blues club in Ft. Myers), Paul spent a couple of years with Bad Co. in the early ’90’s. We’ve exchanged several emails and contact information. Paul travels to Charlotte a couple of times a year, so I hope to see him soon.

I’ve recently established a great co-writing relationship with a writer (Allen Szyrwiel) that’s just on fire and way talented. He’s inspiring me to step up my game, and we get along like kid brothers which makes it all that much more fun. We’ve finished one song, have a 2nd in the hopper, and hope to crank out a few more in ‘09.

NSAI Charlotte is as busy than ever! I spent a few hours this week updating/maintaining our website (Wordpress blog) with information on upcoming Q1 workshops (Hugh Prestwood and Craig Bickhardt), adjusting to the new version of WP, and some general housekeeping. It feels really good to give something back to the songwriting community, I know I’ve been blessed by past coordinators and all the great members of our chapter.

The one thing I haven’t done near enough this week is write or practice. But I’ve set my goals, already attended one SongU feedback session and selecting my self-paced course for this month, as well I’m cleaning clutter in my studio over the next 7 days to ensure my creative environment is ready for work.

The ingredients are in the pot, time to add water, stir and make “stew“.

On a Dime

I’m supposed to be “on vacation” from work, instead I feel like I’m holding vigil over our now defunct mother ship, previously known as Wachovia. I find it hard to mentally detach from all the uncertainty, the disheveled pile of work that waits for my return, and the prospect of being pulled away from the shoreline of dreams I have in sight.

WHAH!

Thank God for the mercy and grace of a new day! I’m sipping a second cup of coffee after a real good night’s sleep in a warm house and it’s Christmas Eve. The kids are giddy with excitement, it’s time to wrap some presents, put them under the tree, and lay down my burdens. So I pick up my guitar, play through “Christmas Song”, and voila I’m somewhere else. My mood and demeanor, and my all important outlook for today, changed in a few moments by playing and singing perhaps one of the most well crafted, and certainly timeless, songs ever written.

Of course, there are literally thousands of means of distraction and escapism, those we choose depend on who we are. Some engulf so deeply they have the potential to change a persona, and not always for the better. But how many of these mechanisms have the power to turn a heart on a dime like music and song? How many of us put on that favorite record, CD or MP3 to remind us of a better day, accompany tears of despair or incite a dance of joy?

I choose to look forward today, to the coming year, with its challenges and possibilities. The songs I’ll write and sing, the notes I’ll get to play for others. I look forward to the inspiration I’ll sponge from other writers, composers  and artists, not just in song or score, but on canvas, paperback or digital shades of gray.

Sometimes the river of life overruns its banks and covers yesterday’s pathways. Could be time for change I could not have expected or to persevere situations I’ll never understand. I just need to remember — love’s light shines into the heart, whether I choose to let it shine through is up to me. Sometimes all it takes is a simple turn of the soul’s prism for this light to be visible and reflected to others, and that simple things in life can inspire such a turn.