zero360/music press life’s edges into song

Got Hope?Posted by Angelo Melendez on August 16th, 2008

Last night my wife and I had our fairly typical Friday wind down after the kids went to bed. Sure, we watched the Olympics, albeit while cruising channels in hopes of dodging the standard fare GAC video countdown, and stumbled upon a rerun of Glen Beck doing a full hour interview with Toby Keith, so we hung there for a while.

I’m a fan of both Toby and Glen, so it was interesting to see these almost exact opposites getting along, making sense, and uniting their voices in a rally cry to our country — WAKE UP! They talked about the delta between political and cultural conservatism, patriotism, the right to bear arms, and how the fact they register with different parties doesn’t make either better than the other. Oh, and, neither is sure who they’ll vote for in November, though gut tells me if doubt prevails, each will vote with the party line they claim to back.

It was really cool to see Toby, a man with a bit of a bad-ass reputation, refuse to pass judgment on social perspectives with which he doesn’t agree, or try to dodge questions about his faith in God and country. He’s a pretty basic guy who I think understands the issues and feels if you’re hated by the left and right simultaneously you are very likely on to something good.

This really got me thinking, not about politics or media hype around the coming election, but about the place I’m at with my own hopes, fears, passions, and dreams. I watched a message by Joel Olsteen last week on hope titled “You’re Closer Than You Think“. Say what you want about Joel, he’s different kind of preacher for sure, but the message hit home. He’s an encourager, not a preacher that preys on guilt trips, and I for one needed to hear that God wants to hear my heart cry for hope.

If not God, who?

I think both Glen and Toby believe strongly in God. Neither tries to shove the Gospel (Glen is Mormon) down anyone’s throat, but use fundamental (if not Biblical) principals to guide their lives and raise their families. Groan, not those old, musty principals about honesty and possessions and fidelity… not those principals about how putting our trust in hope in any man being like trying to grow coconuts in Iceland!

So, how much further do we get sucked into the “information age” while running around with our heads neatly tucked away in a dark orifice of choice? Are we safe not verifying what we read or hear from the media, whether Glen Beck, CNN, or the NY Times? How much more “information” can we process as we navigate the course of our very lives and keep the ship from smashing into lurking submerged portions of the ice berg? It’s great we have choices, it’s sad we make so many unfounded and uninformed choices.

I’m finding myself praying a lot more these days, mostly because it seems there are so many more life decisions to make and I can’t process the data fast enough. So I go to the wall, the closet, my knees, a deep breath, a quiet cry. In the end, there’s so much out of my control, all I can do is hope.

Here’s an excerpt from a lyric I’m working on for a new song:

Pain is never ordinary
Burdens get so hard to carry
When regrets I just can’t bury
Leave me numb and cold
All I have to hold
All I really know
All I have is hope

Copyright (c) Angelo Melendez

First DayPosted by Angelo Melendez on August 7th, 2008

I just got done watching Larry King’s interview with the family of Steven Curtis Chapman. It’s been just over two months since their adopted daughter accidentally died in their driveway. I am grateful for their willingness to share the details of the tragedy, the journey since that day, and the faith that gives them strength to carry on.

I can’t imagine going through what they’ve experienced, I can only pray I never do. While the Chapman family’s faith is apparently strong, I wonder how they managed the first day after losing their little girl? I wonder how every reminder of her and that fateful day impact their every breath?

I saw Steven perform in early April, and even as far away as I was in the back of the venue, his joy, persona, and amazing talent was both inspiring and infectious. He said, very humbly, during the interview he now sings his songs more passionately and with deeper conviction, though just a few weeks ago he was unsure if he could ever perform again.

A woman called during the interview and shared a passage from Psalms about how before God created the first day he planned our very lives. I believe Steven and his family believe this, and their faith is so foundational that their openly sharing about the tragedy is bringing others to a place where they can better deal with grief or anger in their own lives.

Since the day I heard about the loss of their child, the Chapman family has been on my heart and in my prayers. To see them join Larry King and the world live to discuss their faith and encourage us all was a great blessing to me, and gives me reason to live out loud for what I believe. I don’t want to use the Gospel as a hammer, but a brush to paint the life I want others to see in and through me. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my journey… I need to be ready to make the most of it.

Bless BeyondPosted by Angelo Melendez on July 20th, 2008

I finally got around to checking out Mosaic Church (Charlotte/Mallard Creek)  this morning. I certainly can’t (and won’t) make any kind of assessment as to whether this would be the place to move our family, but I will say it was a refreshing approach, young congregation, in what appeared to be a non-pretentious environment. At minimum, I go to visit a church with my ears open, in hopes of picking up a seed I can chew on for a while to nourish my soul.

The pastor who spoke today was pretty young, and shared a message around the statement “A faith tested by fire is a faith that can be trusted.” He used Daniel 3 and the story of Shadrach, Meshac, and Abednego to encourage us to see how trials can strengthen our faith; that is, when we don’t try to compromise or rationalize around God’s truth and remain obedient to his commands instead living to meet worldly expectations.

I think of all the riches in my life, and how I shouldn’t have cares or worries, complaints or regrets, but, of course, I do. Somewhere in closing the service, the phrase “blessed beyond” caught my ear. I wrote it down and have been contemplating it ever since. All the goodness, grace, material possessions, beauty of the earth, on and on, are just what I can see and comprehend — but what God does is bless beyond all these riches by providing a hope that can’t be qualified or measured, far exceeding our imagination or comprehension. Sure, for people going through deep struggles and pain, these words and concepts get shattered by despair and anger, I’ve been there, Lord knows chances are I’ll be there again.

I’m pretty sure I’ll go back for another visit, who knows maybe this is where God would have us for the next season of our lives. If not, I am blessed by the Word today, and pray God’s continued blessings on this congregation, its pastors and leaders, and all who give of themselves to serve the body of Christ.

RecognizePosted by Angelo Melendez on May 1st, 2008

A few weeks ago, I sat in a coffee shop with a co-writer discussing a song idea about God’s will for our lives. She’s lots more experienced at co-writing and very patient, so I really enjoyed the learning process and think we’re on track to write a good song. She sent her notes, I reviewed mine and noticed she’d written down the word “recognize” early in our session, but it wasn’t necessarily focal to our discussion.

When I finally got back to working on the song last week, I couldn’t shake the notion of how I pray and wait for some tangible means of discerning God’s will for my life, when faith says answers come when I choose to pursue God through His word, prayer, and a willingness to risk failing in the context I’m able to see results.

So what triggers my heart to recognize God’s will? James tells us to pray in faith for wisdom and every good thing from above… discerning when I’m praying for a heart’s desire that may not line up with God’s will is a mystery that may only be solved when I align my prayers and faith with God’s word. Newsflash — this means spending LOTS more time reading, studying, contemplating, praying, worshiping, and living in Spirit & Truth.

Admittedly, I’m writing this entry as a bit of a free write to flush out a second verse. But something tells me God is going to show me more — I pray He does!

Bones & StonesPosted by Angelo Melendez on April 13th, 2008

All the political hype these days is wearing me out, and the tide is still rising. There’s a fervor around pending elections we haven’t seen in many years, which at face value seems a good thing. But I heard a comment recently from a woman campaigning for a senatorial candidate who recently stood up to our president and declared his shame for the actions of our commander in chief, as if this should be a quality of significance to sway voter’s minds for this candidate vying for a senate seat. Yep, lots of folks are mad, our country is “reeling”, the economy is “strained”, and once the war and health care get resolved by a new president, new party, everything is going to be “OK”.

Kidding, right? Politicians judging politicians, and “we the people” choosing sides based on their “trustworthy” rhetoric. When I hear statements about how “either Clinton or Obama will do”, we just need a Democrat in the White House, I get even more concerned about what’s at the core of our problems in the world today.

Jesus said, let those without guilt cast the first stone at the sinner (paraphrased). Who among us doesn’t have bones stashed in a closet that may someday become a skeleton hung on the front page of a newspaper or blog for all to see and judge? Like many (if not most), I’m quick to “qualify” others. The bones stashed in the back of my closet don’t even make up a skeleton because I’ve not taken time to truthfully inspect my own flaws and heart issues, so there is no form. If the bones represent my selfish pride and deception, my lack of compassion and putting my imaginations and desires ahead of God, then I need to deal with myself first, not blame someone else for problems, whether perceived or real.

As I see it, the choices we have for our next president leave lots to be desired. They keep stumbling over their own words, waiting to pounce on each others “flaws”, tickling the ears of those who believe a new president (or any other human) is going to make life “better”. Newsflash, it all starts with humbling ourselves as a nation (2 Chronicles 7:14) and addressing real issues. Most folks in financial trouble don’t budget, they overspend wildly on credit cards, and refuse to seek the wisdom of experienced, honest counsel when making life altering financial decisions. Lots of people who are out of work have the opportunity to modernize their skills and improve their quality of life, most won’t because working at the mill or plant is all they’ve ever known. Obesity and dependency on a plethora of substances is rampant. Immigrants who enter this country illegally get better and more frequent health care than our senior citizens living month to month on a pittance of social security. Our neighborhoods are at war with gangs, pedophiles, and lifelong criminals who evade the law and impact our livelihood — but if we get out of Iraq, everything is going to be OK… right?

We laugh at Leno’s “Jaywalking” segments, when he asks people about well known history and even current events and they haven’t a clue as to the answer, funny, huh?. People who flood across our borders illegally rant about their supposed rights, but won’t stand to pledge allegiance to the flag; and our kids can’t sing Christmas songs if a teacher allows a child of non-Christian faith to stand against American tradition… the country we fought so hard and so long for is slipping through our hands so we can all join a sing-along around a global campfire — I for one don’t buy it.

How’s a new president going to solve what’s really wrong?

We’ve twisted, demeaned, and ignored God’s Word for decades. Our society continues eroding, so we point fingers at the president, our government, local, state, or federal, or whoever we can find to blame. I wonder what would happend if we took all the faith we put into politics and turned our eyes and hopes back to Heaven? Maybe, like, humbly ask God to restore this nation, to take us back to the mindset of our fore-fathers? Things are so complicated — the only thing I know to do is cast the vote I’m entitled to this coming November, and trust God to work out the rest. Sometimes going back to square one, back to simple, is the answer. God promises fresh grace and new mercy for each day, it’s up to us to go there to receive it.

Perception-Reality-TruthPosted by Angelo Melendez on March 30th, 2008

When I woke up this morning, I sensed (very strongly) God had something different in mind for this Sunday morning. I found the church where Don Poythress leads worship, Abundant Life, in Mt. Juliet. It’s a modest building with a small congregation, one seemingly surrounded by several large churches I saw along the route in. Their sign says they are an “interdenominational” congregation.

Worship was well so done. Seems several of the church elders are on the worship team, quality musicians and everything sounded as one would expect this close to the heart of Nashville. At one point during worship, a woman asked to speak, and shared a phrase she’d had laid on her heart some time ago, she felt this was the moment to share it:

Perception is reality, but not always truth…

I don’t know if she knew that one of the guitarists, Jim LaVerde, an elder, associate pastor and assistant leader of the worship team, would be filling in for the senior pastor today. But her prophetic word really set the stage for the context of the rest of the service. Don had shared (somewhat apprehensively) before service started that today’s service would be very much out of the ordinary. Truth is, I believe this service could be the main reason God brought me to Nashville this week.

Jim embarked on engaging the congregation in dialog around the “American Church”. He started out with accounts of personal experiences with religiosity, and national averages for church attendance. With Don and one of the other elders flanked to his right, he then began asking questions of the congregation regarding the level of fervency, if not urgency, that appears to be absent in many congregations across the country.

The responsiveness, and genuiness of the congregation was humbling and convicting, and what I thought most cool about it all, is that while there are struggles and our passions may waver and wane, there is a lot of good work in progress, quiet servitude, based in love… for God’s glory.

Who knows if I’ll ever set foot in that building again, or ever come back to Nashville. I do know this, the challenge before me is much greater than any dream about music or writing. Hearing and seeing what I was privileged to witness today lifted my spirits and has me thinking about my focus and priorities. It’s time to bow in thanksgiving and ask the Lord to help me find my way into and through places I didn’t know I could or should go. It’s time to get beyond perception by trusting the compass of his word, which leads to truth. The key here is to trust when I don’t understand, and have faith for the outcome.

Johnny Cash ParkwayPosted by Angelo Melendez on March 30th, 2008

Today I briefly got to see the northeast side of the Nashville area as I made the quick jaunt to the Write About Jesus one day workshop. I only wish I’d left earlier to get a look around, but once I pulled into the Community Church of Hendersonville (on Johnny Cash Pkwy) where the event was held, I never got out to scope the town… that is, beyond the Starbucks just down the street.

The day was a blessing in so many ways, from the writers in attendance to the really cool groups of instructors assembled by Sue Smith to lead the sessions. The fact that these folks are all believers working in the music business in perhaps one of the last true havens for songwriters is a testament to the work for which God wants us to use our gifts. I feel the level of sincerity and care expressed in the instruction was different – refreshing and enlightening.

I’ve many favorite moments, from the teachings, interactions, and the songs shared by five writers at the end of the day. First, from a teaching perspective, while the attitude was light and inviting, the instructors came to teach, and teach they did. The panel on co-writing triggered the revelation that I’m ready, ready to take my writing to the next level through co-writing. Of course this is way easier said than done because I don’t live in Nashville, and I’m currently not in any writing relationships in Charlotte. Not to say there isn’t the potential for building these relationships (in Charlotte), that’s something I’ll need to work at. Bottom line: the quite successful writers on the panel made it very clear, going it alone is a tough road, co-writing increases potential for success in commercial markets.

Second was the Dave Clark session on how to go from “good to great”. Here’s a man with tons of experience in the business as a writer and publisher with a clear message –we’ve allowed our listening habits to infect the quality that goes into crafting songs. He talked about “emotional equity” and how investing in the emotional framework is the difference between settling and driving out a powerful song that’s general enough to touch the hearts of a broad spectrum of listeners.

I audited a critique session and had one song critiqued. The level of expertise and honesty was humbling yet easy to swallow. Again, a grace filled example of what the WAJ community is about. I met a couple of young writers, one of which appears to be on the fast track to a pub deal. Of the songs I heard, most of which were gospel or inspirational genre, the quality was way above average, a couple of them very close to cut-table, at least this was the sense I got from the critiquers.

Lastly, the songs Brian White, Molly Reed, and Don Poythress in the round, followed by individual performances by Scott Krippayne and Kyle Matthews put the sweet icing on a very rich cake. I’m not kidding myself into thinking the challenge isn’t great or the prize potentially unattainable… it’s about faith and seeking out God, and whether it’s His will or a winter wind I’m chasing remains to be seen. Time to pray, listen, and obey.

I’m overjoyed that my wife encouraged me to make the trip and invest the money to attend the workshop. In the morning I’ll further process the whole thing, and, Lord willing, draft out a lyric that I can turn into song by Monday or Tuesday. For now I’ll ready for bed and spend some quiet time thanking God for his hand in all this, from the provision to make this financially possible, and the servants he equipped to share and impact those of us that attended the one day WAJ worshop in Nashville – what a blessing!!!

Good OnesPosted by Angelo Melendez on March 10th, 2008

When I read the news this morning of the passing of a co-worker this weekend, it took my breath away. He’d battled cancer for almost two years, yet even the last time I saw him in the elevator in early February, his pain and fear was laced with care as he asked how I was doing, the same attitude he’d shown me since we first met. As I processed the news, I had to guard my heart against anger.

Why take the good ones, Lord?

Todd Burleson’s five children are similar in age to mine, though Todd was eight years younger than me. In Todd’s wife’s blog entry the day after Valentine’s Day, she spoke of how they’d shared what lied ahead with each of their children. His only daughter asked, “… who will walk me down the aisle?” The five different accounts didn’t hit me so hard the first time I read them; but now Todd’s gone, and the children’s questions and reponses resonate loudly in the chasm of silence left behind by his death.

While I didn’t know him closely, I can say with assurance his life’s focus was to glorify God in all things. Every time I thought of Todd today I sensed his calming presence reminding me he’s in a better place and free of pain. There’s grace in God’s plan for each of us. Todd touched many lives, and his life touched mine. I’m grateful for his kindness and the unmistakable faith that always shined in his eyes. My prayer is that others who may not yet understand the root of Todd’s faith, be impacted by the outpouring of love this coming weekend at the celebration of life being held to honor Todd, and come to know the peace of God’s love.

I’m heart broken, and don’t understand. We’ll miss you, Todd… thanks for being one of the good ones.

Against the CurrentPosted by Angelo Melendez on February 17th, 2008

Clearly I’m a victim of my own inconsistencies. It’s been two weeks since posting to my own blog while I’ve been running hard as ever, seemingly getting nowhere. Of course, this is simply not true. Everyday I’m making headway toward somewhere, therein lies the need to take a step back and take stock — again. If everything I’m doing has a purpose, and I believe so, is each purpose on the same vector? So in people speak, are my goals and desires aligned? Or do I feel (and get) frayed because, while it’s OK to work and play in differing realms, ultimately the goals of each should align.

OK, this is good… so what are the top three time consumers in life today? There’s work, family, and music, in order of awake time consumption. I could figure this all out a la Num3ers, but this isn’t the point. What about each of these scenarios intersect, and what doesn’t? So, the most frustrating of the three is work, because plain and simple, it wears me out. It’s the most time consuming, and outside of providing well for our family, there’s not much inspiration in working for corporation whose compass is calibrated by political correctness and Wall Street mandates. But this is where God has me, and surely for good reason.

Let’s say work and sleep take up 65-70% of each weekday, this leaves a fair amount of time for family, plus time for music and writing. But these efforts and activities need to channel toward a funnel point to make life meaningful.

Here’s where it gets tough for me.

I know where that funnel point is but staying true is another story. I can take the easy way in each of these channels, kinda like floating with the current, or suck it up and swim upstream. If I choose to ride the current of media and psycho-babble bent mindsets focused on individualism and sensationalism, then I’d likely have the same hope as the masses who believe electing a new president will “make life better” — just because a candidate says he or she can. Or believe big government is culpable for a down trodden economy instead of looking at how corporate and personal greed and irresponsibility is really at the heart of this supposed economic demise. I’ve seen no reports of guns or torture used to lure people into oppressive debt. Whether it’s a house or car, TV or pool, we are a glutinous society with very little discipline at budgeting our finances. And when we fail, it’s all about who to blame, forgetting to first look in the mirror and our own spending and business habits.

Like most, I get a sick feeling in my gut every time I hear the news of yet another victim of a pedophile or sex scandal. But who’s taking accountability for the way their kids, especially girls, dress and behave, and at very young ages? And why the continual support of ”stars” glorified as icons by society rags and TV? Makes as much sense as eating moldy food or drinking milk that spent yesterday in the sun… it’s gonna make you sick.

So why do I bend? Why do I sometimes “tolerate” the smut and edginess of the world? Well I don’t, at least not in reason. But in practice, at times it’s not so evident. I don’t go to work every day with the goal to glorify God. Though I give my all to doing a good job, my servanthood could be better — much better. And I don’t always nurture my kids lovingly with the goal of equipping them to know life is not just about right and wrong, but why the choices we make form the fiber of our very being, and our faith. I often doubt my songs could impact a heart with encouragement or hope instead of trusting in the thoughts and prayers God laid on my soul and showed me how to put into song.

There’s no doubt I know where these efforts must lead, and that getting there isn’t easy. Trusting doesn’t come naturally to me and that upstream swim takes all my strength. Of course, I could let the current carry me back to the ocean of complacency our world embraces. But the further I make it up the river, the higher up the mountain I go, the more I see and am able to discern where I want to be. I only hope for the humility and wisdom to ask for strength when the current rises and tries to sweep me away. To stand fast and slow down, let God be God in my life, and glorify Him with mine. For the faith to swim against currents of temptation, pride and fear into the outstretched arms of my Savior.

RememberPosted by Angelo Melendez on January 31st, 2008

Today is yet another day of sad remembrance. Though not a close friend, the loss of co-worker Shirley Wilson hits very close to home. We greeted one another in passing, sat across from one another in meetings, but never shared a meal or delved into our personal lives… yet, the news of her death leaves me reeling. Shirley lost her own son a couple of years ago, and came back to work with her patented smile and fervor for doing her job. Everybody loved Shirley, whether close to her or not.

But it goes deeper. I’m sick of hearing about the economy and the war and politics. I’m sorry for those whose lives are identified by possessions, position, and pursuit of dead end glory. I’m deeply disturbed at how I’m often trapped in these mindsets, painted into corners by a way of life. Not new news I’d like to change my lifestyle, significantly, but how?

If it were just me, and maybe my wife, we could wait out the housing downturn (which in my view is the result of greed on the part of builders and mortgage companies, and poor finance management on the part of the conumer, but that’s another post), sell our house and settle into a much simpler, smaller dwelling, in a small town where there is far less congestion, crime, and and overall slower pace.

This is how I felt about the scenario yesterday.

Today another fallen soldier in the midst of corporate mahem and I’m thinking, wait, I may not have tomorrow. Not that this is the first time I’ve ever thought about my mortality, but today I’m actually just done being down, it’s time for action. If I (we) keep waiting for the “right time”, there will never be a right time. I don’t want to die working at something, I want to work for something. There isn’t much I know how to do outside of what I do with business and technology, except music, and I need to feed my family, etc. There has to be a way for me to use my skills and gifts to provide, yet do something that matters.

I need to remember, however, that while I have to be faithful to seek God’s will, I must take action when I sense it. Shirley’s home with the Lord, I beleive, and I think she’d want each of us to pray for her family. But she’d also want us to rejoice in knowing the joy she had for life and remember each day that passes is one less we’ll have to do what brings peace to our soul.

When the walls around you start to shake and feel like they’re tumbling down
And deep desperation is taking your heart in directions you’ve never gone
Remember it’s never too late for change
Never too late too late for grace
Never too late to remember

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