Walk the Wire
Oct 24, 2009 faith, songwriting
Seems like forever since feeling as though I may be getting caught up on things. Though most likely a mere illusion, I woke today with that sense. I had to put some people and possibilities off to get to this point, and the only reason I’m home today is because I finally ran myself down to the point where I had to take the day off… I’m supposed to be in the studio working on finishing the EP. Not sure if I’m getting the flu or I’m just out of gas, either way, I knew I had to slow down and take a me-day.
Even though I’m “off”, I’ll likely spend some time today re-writing the potential last track for the EP titled “Walk the Wire” (at least that’s what it’s titled right now). I feel strongly about this title because it’s like I’m walking a wire with almost everything I’m doing these days. Plus, the background for my new website, which should be released in the next 2-3 weeks, has the image of wires across the top, and kinda sparked the idea to begin with.
Navigating the chaos and politics everyday at work is a high wire act, no net, no paramedic waiting below. Life at home with kids aged 9-21 is a delicate balancing act — being there for my wife and family when they need me, and staying out of the way when they don’t. Stoking the embers of creativity instead of caving in to curling up on the couch with a cup of tea or red wine is a frequent challenge I have to kick myself to do, but do I must. Carving out enough time for me to refuel by flesh, to nurture and motivate my spirit is at times an exercise in futility, exemplified by the brick wall I hit yesterday afternoon.
I argue with myself that other than the non-negotiable challenges of life, it’s my own being that puts me on that wire. Sure, I could let go of dreams most likely unattainable, or play the coward and walk away from responsibilities I’ll live with till I die… but, any way I slice it, if I don’t walk the wire, take the challenges and risks and get bloody along the way, what will I have to look back on in the end?
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