zero360/music

Real Life

May 19, 2008 sojourn

I don’t know about you, but a good bit of my day is spent settling battles between my head and my heart, including choices about how I use time, spend money, who and what I serve, when or if to sleep, you know, life stuff. At least for me, there’s no way to pin down how all my free time is used, like some surveillance system that catalogs and trends, nothing overly geeky. Though my “real life” is often full of illusions and distractions leading nowhere, for all intents and purposes I’ve got it made. Of course, you wouldn’t know it when the “whine-o-meter” starts spiking because I’m not getting my way or being fulfilled, at least from an earthly perspective.

Of late, however, news of the horrific tragedies caused by natural disasters around the world, and the fact our nation appears to be missing the big picture in dealing with challenges we face, I’m seeing things in a different hue. Kids growing up without moms or dads, our elderly battle depression and lonliness as their generation fades away, the cost of living across the board sucking the life out of so many, and generic indifference poised to inflict lasting, detrimental impact… but then I see the Sunday school worker dressed in the same clothes, wearing that same smile and I wonder, could this be me? Or a school teacher of 20 years who refuses to give up because of the ridiculously insufficient pay or the disrespect of some students because even though she may never see the fruit of her labor, she has hope for the outcome… would I have the guts to do the same?

Real life… it’s not about what I do, but who I really am based on choices I’ve made at crossroads in life, and my imperfections are healed by humility and grace. I want to live knowing that my contributions to this world do matter, but should be made quietly without expectation of acknowledgement or reward. While this is inherently not my nature, I can’t ignore the stirring in my heart, and there are forces around me speaking loudly, too. Whether in the form of a song, a comment, a newspaper article or a blog, a sermon, I’m seeing, hearing and seeking from a different perspective.

If I’m to be more deciscive, and make choices that really matter, I need to tear down the walls that keep me from searching out my identity and purpose in life… not the world’s version of life, but real life. It’s time to take off the mask of pretense and be real with myself. To see that who I am in every waking hour can make a difference in situations I’m a part of… it’s going to take peeling off more of the old me if I want to get to living out my real life.

Tags: life, reality check