zero360/music

Against the Current

Feb 17, 2008 faith, sojourn

Clearly I’m a victim of my own inconsistencies. It’s been two weeks since posting to my own blog while I’ve been running hard as ever, seemingly getting nowhere. Of course, this is simply not true. Everyday I’m making headway toward somewhere, therein lies the need to take a step back and take stock — again. If everything I’m doing has a purpose, and I believe so, is each purpose on the same vector? So in people speak, are my goals and desires aligned? Or do I feel (and get) frayed because, while it’s OK to work and play in differing realms, ultimately the goals of each should align.

OK, this is good… so what are the top three time consumers in life today? There’s work, family, and music, in order of awake time consumption. I could figure this all out a la Num3ers, but this isn’t the point. What about each of these scenarios intersect, and what doesn’t? So, the most frustrating of the three is work, because plain and simple, it wears me out. It’s the most time consuming, and outside of providing well for our family, there’s not much inspiration in working for corporation whose compass is calibrated by political correctness and Wall Street mandates. But this is where God has me, and surely for good reason.

Let’s say work and sleep take up 65-70% of each weekday, this leaves a fair amount of time for family, plus time for music and writing. But these efforts and activities need to channel toward a funnel point to make life meaningful.

Here’s where it gets tough for me.

I know where that funnel point is but staying true is another story. I can take the easy way in each of these channels, kinda like floating with the current, or suck it up and swim upstream. If I choose to ride the current of media and psycho-babble bent mindsets focused on individualism and sensationalism, then I’d likely have the same hope as the masses who believe electing a new president will “make life better” — just because a candidate says he or she can. Or believe big government is culpable for a down trodden economy instead of looking at how corporate and personal greed and irresponsibility is really at the heart of this supposed economic demise. I’ve seen no reports of guns or torture used to lure people into oppressive debt. Whether it’s a house or car, TV or pool, we are a glutinous society with very little discipline at budgeting our finances. And when we fail, it’s all about who to blame, forgetting to first look in the mirror and our own spending and business habits.

Like most, I get a sick feeling in my gut every time I hear the news of yet another victim of a pedophile or sex scandal. But who’s taking accountability for the way their kids, especially girls, dress and behave, and at very young ages? And why the continual support of ”stars” glorified as icons by society rags and TV? Makes as much sense as eating moldy food or drinking milk that spent yesterday in the sun… it’s gonna make you sick.

So why do I bend? Why do I sometimes “tolerate” the smut and edginess of the world? Well I don’t, at least not in reason. But in practice, at times it’s not so evident. I don’t go to work every day with the goal to glorify God. Though I give my all to doing a good job, my servanthood could be better — much better. And I don’t always nurture my kids lovingly with the goal of equipping them to know life is not just about right and wrong, but why the choices we make form the fiber of our very being, and our faith. I often doubt my songs could impact a heart with encouragement or hope instead of trusting in the thoughts and prayers God laid on my soul and showed me how to put into song.

There’s no doubt I know where these efforts must lead, and that getting there isn’t easy. Trusting doesn’t come naturally to me and that upstream swim takes all my strength. Of course, I could let the current carry me back to the ocean of complacency our world embraces. But the further I make it up the river, the higher up the mountain I go, the more I see and am able to discern where I want to be. I only hope for the humility and wisdom to ask for strength when the current rises and tries to sweep me away. To stand fast and slow down, let God be God in my life, and glorify Him with mine. For the faith to swim against currents of temptation, pride and fear into the outstretched arms of my Savior.