zero360/music press life’s edges into song

T-MinusPosted by Angelo Melendez on May 30th, 2008

These days seems just about everything is deadline driven. From dinner at 5:30 to get the kids somewhere by 6:15, to the next powerpoint at work, or preparing for my next trip — whether to Nashville or the grocery story. Good news is, I can do this! The bad news… I tend to stress and get caught up in details instead of enjoying the process and the moments that matter. While recently reading through some scripture in 1 Kings about Solomon’s wisdom, I realized, this is where I want to be — asking for and receiving wisdom into and for my life, just as Solomon did.

So I’m thinking I won’t have the whole jurisdiction over all these countries and peoples, and that’s cool with me, I have enough to handle with the single family in our household. And I don’t need to be great at everything I do, but be faithful and do things with the right heart and hope in that which I can’t see.

I can be a rather poor reader, usually 3-4 books at a time, struggling to finish any or all of them, sometimes having to restart and skim through a book to get reoriented. I’m currently going through “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, and finishing up the sections on seeing life from God’s view… life is a test, life is a trust, life is a temporary assignment (in a temporal place). Interestingly, before reading these chapters, I’d just written some songs easily tied back to these perspectives.

Kinda cool… then I think about practical application.

Of the three elements, trust is the one that frequently eludes me and pretty much causes the most turmoil in my life. To me, trust means totally reliquishing control. Should be easy seeing as I really don’t have control of anything to begin with except the choices I make. Some decisions should be black and white, right vs. wrong. It’s those where wisdom, instinct and desire collide that keep me on my toes, sometimes at the edge of a cliff, trying to balance choices against making “right decisions”.

Truth is, I’m at a point where I time should be one of the most compelling factors in choosing for the rest of my life. If I live to 100, my days are but the strike of a match in light of eternity… if I miss out on what today has to offer, tomorrow might be my eternity. Time to think about the countdown and live with a bit more reckless abandon and ferver.

God’s word says ask for wisdom, I’m asking … am I trusting?

Real LifePosted by Angelo Melendez on May 19th, 2008

I don’t know about you, but a good bit of my day is spent settling battles between my head and my heart, including choices about how I use time, spend money, who and what I serve, when or if to sleep, you know, life stuff. At least for me, there’s no way to pin down how all my free time is used, like some surveillance system that catalogs and trends, nothing overly geeky. Though my “real life” is often full of illusions and distractions leading nowhere, for all intents and purposes I’ve got it made. Of course, you wouldn’t know it when the “whine-o-meter” starts spiking because I’m not getting my way or being fulfilled, at least from an earthly perspective.

Of late, however, news of the horrific tragedies caused by natural disasters around the world, and the fact our nation appears to be missing the big picture in dealing with challenges we face, I’m seeing things in a different hue. Kids growing up without moms or dads, our elderly battle depression and lonliness as their generation fades away, the cost of living across the board sucking the life out of so many, and generic indifference poised to inflict lasting, detrimental impact… but then I see the Sunday school worker dressed in the same clothes, wearing that same smile and I wonder, could this be me? Or a school teacher of 20 years who refuses to give up because of the ridiculously insufficient pay or the disrespect of some students because even though she may never see the fruit of her labor, she has hope for the outcome… would I have the guts to do the same?

Real life… it’s not about what I do, but who I really am based on choices I’ve made at crossroads in life, and my imperfections are healed by humility and grace. I want to live knowing that my contributions to this world do matter, but should be made quietly without expectation of acknowledgement or reward. While this is inherently not my nature, I can’t ignore the stirring in my heart, and there are forces around me speaking loudly, too. Whether in the form of a song, a comment, a newspaper article or a blog, a sermon, I’m seeing, hearing and seeking from a different perspective.

If I’m to be more deciscive, and make choices that really matter, I need to tear down the walls that keep me from searching out my identity and purpose in life… not the world’s version of life, but real life. It’s time to take off the mask of pretense and be real with myself. To see that who I am in every waking hour can make a difference in situations I’m a part of… it’s going to take peeling off more of the old me if I want to get to living out my real life.

RecognizePosted by Angelo Melendez on May 1st, 2008

A few weeks ago, I sat in a coffee shop with a co-writer discussing a song idea about God’s will for our lives. She’s lots more experienced at co-writing and very patient, so I really enjoyed the learning process and think we’re on track to write a good song. She sent her notes, I reviewed mine and noticed she’d written down the word “recognize” early in our session, but it wasn’t necessarily focal to our discussion.

When I finally got back to working on the song last week, I couldn’t shake the notion of how I pray and wait for some tangible means of discerning God’s will for my life, when faith says answers come when I choose to pursue God through His word, prayer, and a willingness to risk failing in the context I’m able to see results.

So what triggers my heart to recognize God’s will? James tells us to pray in faith for wisdom and every good thing from above… discerning when I’m praying for a heart’s desire that may not line up with God’s will is a mystery that may only be solved when I align my prayers and faith with God’s word. Newsflash — this means spending LOTS more time reading, studying, contemplating, praying, worshiping, and living in Spirit & Truth.

Admittedly, I’m writing this entry as a bit of a free write to flush out a second verse. But something tells me God is going to show me more — I pray He does!