zero360/music

We go on…

Apr 21, 2007 sojourn

Sometimes my days are so busy I miss big news stories until someone at work mentions goings on, or I call my wife and she asks “did you hear about…?”. Such was the case April 16, 2007, that Monday scarred by the dark, remorseless actions of a human being void of reality, truth, and love.

Since it was later in the day that I became aware of the tragedy, details and media “insight” were already available at the point I began processing the events. Some of my first thoughts included fear for my own children, dismay over the ease with which guns are accessible, though mostly I was overcome with numb… as though a chunk of my soul had been bitten away by a shark.

More than enough has been said about the actual gore surrounding these senseless acts of rage. I’m grateful to those who stood and said stop to the repeated showings and postings of the killer’s manifesto, as if to glorify his side of the story and portray him as some sort of victim. No wonder demented cinematography (I think they call it art) is worth so much at the box office. Are we that gullible as a society?

The aftershock hurt deeply. I know a few people that either went to VT or have ties to the school. In 1979 I played the Ramada Inn just down the street from campus and can still recall the rustic vibe of the tucked away town. As I watched a very poignant version 48 Hours that thankfully focused more on the victims than the killer, I was overcome with a sense of loss that wont soon be erased from the forefront of my thoughts. The accounts of heroism, remembrances of the good the victims lived for, and the Hokie rally cries of unity, perseverence, and grief all led me to ask, how do we go on from here?

In the days that followed, both locally and in national news, several accounts of school lockdowns and gun incidents were reported. A 16 year old high school student killed himself in the parking lot of a gas station over the breakup of a romantic relationship. I’m not sure there was actually an increase in these type events, but the heighted awareness brought them to the forefront. As we process each story and set of events, we go on.

As the week ended, I breathed a bit of a sigh of relief. Corporate america has a way of taking its toll on my attitude and demeanor. But it was Friday and through the turmoil of the VT incidents, daily skirmishes in corporate trenches, not to mention our own family and personal trials and struggles, I’d made it. The sun shining brightly, a calm afternoon, and I was headed home to my wife, children, and a home cooked meal. As I called to let my wife know I was on my way, she asked “did you hear about Melissa Greer?”… we go on.

Melissa was 27. A weather anchor for a local TV news team. She died of cancer on April 20, 2007, leaving behind a son of just a few weeks, to a husband of just a few months (read more at the WBTV web site). Her whole life ahead of her, we go on. Just two weeks go, two Charlotte police officers were murdered… we go on.

So, what’s the point?

I go on because I believe faith and hope will ultimately see me through. Surely in the long haul, but perhaps more importantly, in the day to day. Somedays my day is all about what [I think] I need or want, or love or hate, when it’s what others see and feel in and through me that’s meanigful in the long run. I know somewhere in my being exists the spirit of God, I go on because I want to become that spirit. Most importantly I want to impart that spirit. It’s not me I want anyone to see, but the spirit of God’s grace, goodness, and love. Long way to go, if ever I get there, but this is my heart’s cry.